an ode to villains

Dear Villians,

Its Halloween today! I know that some of you out there are not monsters or ghouls, but you are still evil which means we can celebrate you today without looking too sadistic or demented. Don't worry your treachery is important to the dynamic of relationships and for plot-thickening year round, however, I am free to write you this love letter and not seem as crazy by doing it today.

In no particular order, here are a few shout outs to my favorite deviants out there:

Hannibal Lector (Silence of the Lambs)

You have forever etched your maniacal intelligence into my mind. Your refined barbarism made me re-define what scary really is. I remember watching you for the first time when I was really little and my mom said "No, you would give me nightmares", but i said "Yes. It takes a lot to scare me". Well you achieved the unachievable. I have developed a not-so-secret love of your character and every movie about you has become my guilty pleasure flick that I watch monthly. Religiously. 

Joan Crawford (Mommie Dearest)

You are one mean bitch. I know that your wicked ways were revealed by your daughter's tell-all, but I really hope
 this movie is dramatized by Hollywood for ratings because you left a lot of people speechless with your cruelty. 
I can never look at wire coat hangers the same.


 Ooh! You may take the cake for sheer evilness. Skinning puppies. Trickery. Poisoned fruit. Yes, the odds are definitely stacked against you but I am sure you don't mind. You did always manage to be the most fashionable out of all the villains. I know I sure couldn't stay mad at a woman wearing fur for too long. 

Pennywise the Dancing Clown (Stephen King's IT)

I hated even googling this monster's face. If there was one movie that I watched as a child and still fear to this day, it is IT. I got nervous and afraid watching this movie when I was twelve and I get nervous and afraid watching this movie now. Clowns are frighteningly unpredictable.

Connie and Raymond Marble (Pink Flamingos)

Quite possibly my favorite movie ever. The antagonistic Marbles are two jealous perverts trying to steal the title of Filthiest People Alive from Babs Johnson. They stop at no end to out filth, ranging from sending fecal matter through the mail, burning down trailers and running an illegal lesbian adoption agency.

Frank Booth (Blue Velvet)

Some poignant words from Frank Booth:

“Shut up. It’s daddy. Shithead.”
“Hey shithead. That’s the last time I get you high and watch you freak out.”
“This beer’s gonna get too warm. I can’t stand fuckin’ warm beer. It makes me puke.”

Don Logan (Sexy Beast)

Don Logan may be one of the most shockingly foul-mouthed, spite-filled charcters in film history. Every line he mutters, even in some cases if it is a compliment is so utterly menacing, it makes your spine curl up and freeze. Terrifying!