….or an exercise in self defining.

I think at one point or another every person who blogs will answer the Proust questionnaire. It is like a rite of passage in the blogging world; perhaps a glimpse into the “real” you….or maybe it is just enabling the vanity in having a blog.
On that note, I have been a bit under the weather and staying in over the last few days, which has granted me a bit of spare time to indulge in some rest and narcissism…..

What is your idea of perfect happiness
What is perfect today will be tomorrow’s disaster. I am not strong on perfection.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery
Unwanted loneliness. Being dependant on another person for your own sense of happiness. Lack of desire to express yourself. No sex drive

The trait you most deplore in yourself
Self destructive and melancholic

What is the most overrated virtue

What is your biggest regret
Setting a decade’s worth of my old diaries on fire

What is your present state of mind
Dreamy and inconsistent

Where would you like to live
On a train

What are your chief characteristics
Curious, creative and autonomous

Favorite qualities in a man
Intelligence, a sense of absurdity, culturally literate, boldness, valor

Favorite qualities in a woman
Bravery, mystery, independence, unconventional, culturally literate

What do you most value in friends
I have accepted my friends for who they really are, the good, the bad and the ugly and I think I finally know the difference between a real friend and those that are merely looking out for his or her own selfish interests within our relationship. I have a very diverse group of friends but I guess that tie that binds would be compassion, sharp wit, honest to a fault.

What is your favorite occupation
I don’t think I will ever have just one dream job for the rest of my life. I love the idea of changing ones focus and aspirations; I think it keeps you fluid, modest and constantly learning. Buuut, if I had to choose a dream job right now….Artist. Writer. Detective. Full time saucy minx, who bathes in champagne in an oversized martini glass on a stage for voyeurs, who will pay big bucks, to watch.

What is your greatest fear
Losing my freedom. Going blind. And maybe being locked in a room with a dozen snakes.

If not yourself, who would you be
A schizophrenic version of myself

Your favorite flower
Poppies because they are prickly looking but soft; wiry and untamed.

Your favorite color
Violet. Also, sounds boring, but shades of grey.

What is your greatest extravagance
Having the time to answer this questionnaire.

Which talent would you most like to have
The ability to pick up any language quickly and proficiently

Your favorite writers
Anais Nin, Ayn Rand, Ronald Dahl, Freud, Amy Bloom

Your favorite poets
Rainer Maria Rilke, Anne Carson, Nancy Cunard

Your favorite heros in fiction
Blanche Duboise from a Streetcar named Desire, Mrs. Mallard from Story of an Hour by Kate Chopin, Alice in Wonderland

Your favorite names
Ingaborga, Osa, Emma, Caleb, Tennessee, Olivia, Ines

Which words or phrases do you most overuse
“do you know what I mean?” “sorry I didn’t call sooner”

Your favorite motto
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro

How would you like to die
Drinking a lovely poison that tastes like a combination of Hendricks gin and rose petals.Lay down in tall, soft green grass near a body of water where  I can hear a band nearby(blues, folk, reggae, whatever) off playing in the distance, I am clutching a few pieces of dear ephemeral .

What do you consider your greatest achievement
I’m hoping I haven’t achieved it yet.